ready for a deep one?
Originally, this post was just going to be a "tell me what's so GREAT about 30" kind of deal. That angle was bothering me though...it implies that I'm dreading thirty and need you all to cheer me up. That the age itself; the 3 decade duration - is troublesome to me. And that's not the case. I don't think thirty is "old." As a matter of fact, I'm much happier now than I've ever been before. I have my husband and sons and am close to my parents and siblings. I'm more content with my appearance than I've ever been (sure, they're are wrinkles and a few pounds to drop but I'm good with that!) I'm working (not my dream job but I'm grateful for it at this point!) and I'm enjoying a hobby that is *more* than a hobby. Life is good.
I've spent the past few days kind of short with my family, a little irrational, a lot emotional. It was pissing me off that making the transition from 29 to 30 was affecting me that way. Normally, I'm not short, irrational or overly-emotional...at least I don't think so...
Then, yesterday, I think I realized what's really bothering me. I wanted to make a statement for my 30th birthday. Not a big party or day out. I wanted to do something, for myself, that would really stand out as a milestone years from now. It isn't something anyone else could have done for me - it was all about me doing something, ANYTHING, to remember this time, this moment, this *only* day ever that I'll be this age - an age most people consider a milestone.
So, I'm a bit disappointed in myself. Disappointed that I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to pinpont the cause of my malaise, waiting for my epiphany, rather than doing something to correct it.
These words will go in my scrapbook. Or maybe a time capsule to be opened in *9* years...that will remind me what a loser I was this year (kidding!) and give me a year headstart on 40. Yeah, that will be the legacy of 30...a time capsule of sorts. Life at 30 to be compared to life at 40. What do you think?
(OK, so it wan't really that deep afterall...)
at 8:13 AM