because sometimes, that's all that fits.I've run across some interesting people lately.
<<--These guys. Who are only doing their job but I took a picture because I immediately thought of oompa loompas when I saw them. And nothing puts a smile on my face like a good oompa loompa song!
And then the woman I saw roller skating the other day.
"roller blading? big deal! lots of middle aged hipsters roller blade to stay fit!"
Oh no, but she was roller SKATING. 4 wheels. and sweat bands. and Three's Company style shorts.
"Well surely she was just skating through a neighborhood, minding her own business in a private, secluded are."
You'd think, wouldn't you? Nope. Right down a busy street. In front of a middle school no less. Crazy. No shame.
And I think my favorite. The woman I saw at Tubby's yesterday. The one that was wearing a business suit and heels and couldn't have been more the 4'11" I guess she didn't want to dirty her hands on the garbage can so instead of using a napkin to push open the garbage door, she PICKED UP HER FOOT AND PUSHED IT IN. Please, take a moment to visualize.
OK, now despite me being insanely jealous of her nimbleness and balance, that's not the typical response to being a bit of a germaphobe, right? I immediately scanned the restaurant hoping someone else had seen it as well. Someone whom I could lock eyes with and connect on a meaningful "did you see that crazy bitch?" level. No such luck though...everybody else had their back turned so I was forced instead to hide my snicker lest someone thinks me the crazy one...sitting their giggling to myself.
Finally, tomorrow I have to do something that involves some people that I've never formally met, but whom have still managed to be a complete PITA to the Hernandez Collective the past few weeks. Do I a.) give them the cold shoulder making it perfectly clear what I think of them and their shenanigans or b.) turn on the charm and kill them with kindness?
B, right? That makes me the better person (ha!) and makes them feel like assholes for being such, well, assholes for the past month.
OK, enough weirdness for one night (Carlos is watching House of 1000 Corpses and DWIGHT is in it! Awesome! OK, now *that's* enough weirdness.)
good luck tomorrow;)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that I wasn't in Tubby's (whatever that may be...)cuz I totally would have locked eyes with you about that woman...LOL:)
Oh my! Some interesting visuals you gave me bright and early this morning. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, and totally kill 'em with kindness! :) Good luck and Happy Friday!
you are too fuNNY!
ReplyDeletei can't believe your baby boy is 3!!!!!!!! i remember when he was born LOL!!!!! wow! i am so sad!!!
glad i found your blog!
do you mind sending me your reading list?!
tara
I am laughing so hard right now. I have tears coming out of my eyes. That doesn't happen often. Seriously, JSJ and you are about the only two people that can make me laugh so hard.
ReplyDeleteKill em with kindness and if that doesn't work, go on to plan A.
you crack me up.
ReplyDeletei would have loved to have seen the woman opening the garbage with her foot.
love the part of hoping to 'lock eyes with someone'!
great post!
i agree...kill 'em with kindness! :)
stuff like that happens to me all the time (the no one to share something funny with). I love that story!!
ReplyDeleteThree's Company shorts! I just about wet my pants. Was she bra-less?
ha! I love the oompa loompas! I found this hilarious oompa loompa Halloween costume one year...all these guys in your picture are missing is the hair! ha!
ReplyDeleteoh and can I say that I would have totally been there with you upon seeing that woman! hehe!
ReplyDeletei love my quad skates. no blades for me... but i wouldn't be doing the chrissy snow thing... more like a mid eighties old school ponytails, jeans, cute sweater and big earrings...
ReplyDeletecan't wait to see your wicker knitted up!
-stephanie
you are TOO funny girl. love the oompa loompa guys, what a crackup.
ReplyDeleteand that kill em w/kindness is always the best revenge...enjoy it!
hope you're doing well :)
Your post has me seriously laughing my 4'11 ass off! I can just picture myself trying to do that and falling over. I will admit that sometimes I do that to flush a nasty public restroom toilet, but the garbage can where someone can see me-Hell NO! Hope your killing with kindness did the trick this weekend.
ReplyDeleteYeah!I finally found your blog, and omg, I'm here laughing my butt off! Between Oompa Loompas (because really, who doesn't love a good song by them?), and the short lady at Tubby's... Oh dear, you know people who've had three kids cannot laugh this much without disaster!!! I wish I was at Tubby's with you, so we could giggle together! ;)
ReplyDeleteCracking up at the woman kicking the door - WT???
ReplyDelete